


rhapsodies on the mistakes of loving well

by AptlyNamed



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Character Study, Dialogue-Only, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, Stream of Consciousness, actually really very complete now, few spoilers sprinkled in read w care yall, this is a cute lil experimental thing which while rad makes it very hard to tag, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 01:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19075147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AptlyNamed/pseuds/AptlyNamed
Summary: Does Crowley love Aziraphale? Why don't you ask him?





	1. Crowley

Call it love, then, he fucking guesses. If you really gotta, if there’s really nothing better for you to do but argue semantics and terminology with a fucking demon. You sure you don’t wanna talk about ssssomething else? Anything else? Anything at all for the immortal entity?

No, you’re just stuck on said immortal entity’s love life. Okay. _Fine._

The thing is, Crowley would die for Aziraphale. Would do almost anything for the angel. Would walk over holy coals if he asked- which is a whole thing, ok, he fucking _knows._ So. Love. Maybe. Whatever. Maybe he’s a little proud of it. Maybe loving the angel feels like something real bad he got away with- or real good, whichever team you’re on. Maybe one of the worst (or best) things he's done. 

You wanna know why too, nosy? Oh no, no no no! You asked, you get the whole can of worms.

Demons know him as Crowley, little crazy, been on the surface too long, flash bastard. Angels- besides his angel, fuck, you know what he means- just smite him, don’t really think much beyond ‘argh demon smite smite die’. Humans either think of him as the bloke with the weird eyes or the really good proposition. All pieces. All fragments, all coloured by things that aren’t him to fit him a little bit better into their perception, and, admittedly, whatever game he’s playing.

Aziraphale, from the start, the very start, the start start of bloody well everything, y’know, has seen him as Crowley. Just. Crowley. Sauntered vaguely downwards and all. He’s always looked at Crowley with clear eyes- yeah, he might cajole him to be more of the bits Crowley tries hard to ignore, but that’s still with the full knowledge of exactly where Crowley is standing, exactly who he is. With Aziraphale, he’s seen. Hard not to be, after 6,000 years. Go- Sa- someone, somewhere, listen close, because this is the only time he’s going to say it- thanks.

What’s he going to do about it? What’s- are you serious? Are you deliberately missing the point? Are you actually that denssse? What he’s going to do is take the angel out for lunches and stop Armageddno (apparently) and feed ducks and argue pointless moral debates with him! Aziraphale doesn’t- that’sss not the point! The point, isss that he has Aziraphale. He does. Not in the messy human way but. They’re friendsss. They’re alive. They’re meeting at the Ritz today, actually, so if yo-

…

Hhhhhow long has Aziraphale been standing there? He can explain, he can- Aziraphale!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehh i binged all of the tv show in like 2 days and got braining. tennant and sheen really kinda gave their all to that barely-subtext subtext and like,, i can 110% see where and why aziraphale fell (ha pun intended) for crowley but for some reason on watch through 1 i didn't get why crowley was in so so deep for his angel so, this. happened? i guess??  
> who is crowley talking to in this? wow great question- ive got some ideas. if i do a second part (exploring aziraphale voice which would be interesting) i might expand on it ;o  
> & for utter clarity: armageddno isnt a typo that is 500% intentional and i think i'm very funny


	2. Aziraphale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Aziraphale love Crowley? Or, better question, when did Aziraphale love Crowley? And why?

It’s not that simple! It really isn’t.

He could say, honestly, that it started in the Garden. And he could just as truthfully say it started in The Globe in different sort of way, and that is all just as true as him saying that it started in the rubble of a church, or over a thermos of holy water. In the way a brick was always part of wall, even when you weren’t sure what it was building to; as something that is built, and grew and grows, is always what it is even when it’s broken apart.

So, also (and perhaps most truthfully of all), it started in a thousand little pubs, a million lunches shared and bantered over, in arguments and forgiveness and. Bollocks. They’re just- they’re _friends_ , in a dangerous sort of way. Not that Crowley is dangerous- not to Aziraphale, in any case, which is precisely- not the problem, exactly, but.

The ‘why’ isn’t in Crowley being a demon, no, but it also is, in a way. In that Crowley could never be an angel, or a better demon, or a human- or anything other than he is, really. He’s Crowley, bleeding heart and cunning mind and _clever_ swagger- erm. Sorry.

What he means is: Crowley remembered the books. And Crowley knew which books in his shop were new despite never having read a single one of them. He remembered the flaming sword, and asked about the kids, and has spent every _day,_ every _moment_ of his existence caring and asking and wondering, and Aziraphale has had the unparalleled pleasure and the- the _gift_ of being able to bask in that for millennia. That’s why, he supposes, and that’s just as much when.

Why hasn’t he-?

Well, you see, you may have heard something about the relations between angels and demons being somewhat poor, historically.

No need for attitude- are you listening to yourself?! You are asking why he, Aziraphale, angel, _angel,_ of the Eastern Gate, why-

...How? How he loves Crowley?

...Well. He goes for- he gets- he-

He’s… never said anything along those lines, has he? Anything at all. He’s never- Crowley doesn’t know- he would think- oh, he would, wouldn’t he? He’s always been a bit rubbish with subtext, oh dear. Oh dear. He would, and he does, and-

Lovely speaking with you, dear, but he’s afraid he’s got to pop off somewhere rather quickly, so if you wouldn’t mind…? Lovely, thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there might... be a part three... hmmm...........  
> aziraphale is much harder to write for me this was big Difficult energy. i think i got it decently by the end?? ehhhhhh  
> my reasoning for these 2 having struggles Getting Together Already Oh My God is: they have very different love languages. aziraphale just realised this. as a certified Angel he perhaps should have noticed earlier but there were some stressful things going on so i'm willing to give him a pass this once


	3. Together at last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end, they always know where to find each other.

“Angel, I can explain, whatever you heard-”

“A fragment of a fragment, dear. A hopeful fragment, but I, ah, wasn’t sure how much I was projecting.”

“...Projecting? How d’you mean, angel?”

“Well, I- Crowley, you  _ must  _ know. I really wasn’t what you’d call subtle about it.”

“‘It’ being…?”

“Oh, now you’re just being deliberately obtuse! My-my feelings, about you. Being, perhaps, very romantically inclined.”

“Uhh huuh… hm. Hmmmm. Hmhmhm.” 

“Are you quite alright, Crowley?”

“Yeah, no, just- processing. How long?”

“Oh come now, really-”

“Angel. Please.”

“...There really wasn’t, you know, one precise obvious moment. But most obviously in the church, I suppose.”

“Church?”

“ _ The  _ church.”

“Ohhhhhh right. That church. Huh. Dead nazis really do it for you?”

“Oh hush. What about you, then?”

“What about me?”

“Fragments, Crowley, that’s all I’ve got. Do you, I mean, would you say that…”

“Oh definitely. Yep.”

“Crowley!”

“Augh fine! Yesss, I love you!

…

Are you  _ tearing up _ ?”

“My dear, I am so sorry. I don’t believe I’ve been loving you very well at all.”

“Wha-Bu-Cha-What’re you on about?”

“Centuries, Crowley! For centuries I thought I was being very obvious and- that you just weren’t interested but-”

“Woah, angel. I’m not sssome delicate flower.”

“Oh my dear. I know you a bit better than that. I  _ am _ sorry, truly.”

“Well, y’know, it’s- it’s, y’know. You could, uh- kiss it better?”

“Absolutely, my dear. As many times as it takes.”

“Might take a fair number, potentially.”

“And I think I’m quite alright with that, Crowley.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u know i had no plans to continue this beyond a vague idea of half finished pieces in a google doc somewhere  
> did u know i have other projects ive desperately been trying to finish for actual years and then this comes along and i throw something half coherent together in three days that i don't entirely hate  
> ...mysterious. perhaps,,, one could even say,,,,,,,, ineffable


End file.
